You get to explain gender to all of your friends — And all of your family — And maybe once more to be sure — And random strangers — And maybe, like, doctors and nurses who should probably know better; You get to explain to your partner that nothing has changed — And that you were always this way — And that really, honestly, nothing has changed — And that this has no effect on your love for them — And I promise; You will get to come out again — And explain that it wasn't that being gay wasn't enough — And explain that it has nothing to do with who you like — And explain that that shouldn't matter — And — oh right, this means you might be straight after all; You get to go through that awkward period of growing your hair out — And learning how to ask for a more feminine haircut — And trying a curling iron for the first time — And figuring out how to eat noodles without also eating your hair — And the worries that you're just trying to be rebellious; You get to worry whether you're maybe just trying to be rebellious — And whether or not you might just be faking it — And whether you're really Trans Enough or not — And whether you're maybe just appropriating femininity — And whether or not passing really matters to you anyway; You get to dress up in your best clothes — And your best makeup — And worry that your shoes are too masculine — And have your hair game on point — And convince the doc that you deserve those patches and pills; You get to go through puberty again — And it will be weirder this time around — And your skin will grow soft — And you'll get more sensitive to temperature changes — And — YEOWCH! That's a new sensation; You will cry a lot — And bite your tongue often — And lower your gaze — And learn to take up less space — And talk softer; And your dogs will still love you.
Being Transgender
Publish date: Oct 14, 2015